That I always gave advice to. The one that is so head over heels for someone that she will always look past his flaws even when they are destructive. When he yells at me for things I can’t change, and when I explain to him calmly that he’s the only one for me, and he still tells me to fuck myself, it makes me come back for more. I’ll always apologize first even if I feel like I did nothing wrong, just so we can be okay again. When I was younger I always told myself “I’d never have trouble leaving a man” but here I am, gripping on so tightly to someone who without fail tells me they don’t want me when they’re drunk. Drunk words are sober thoughts, right? If I was giving myself advice id tell myself that I was an idiot. This relationship is unhealthy. But all these attitudes will go away the second he texts me saying, “I’m sorry baby. Let’s talk?” I am so high on the memories and the fantasy of what our life could become it blocks my perception of everything else. I have become the girl…I told myself I’d never be.